First off, this may not be the best topic to start the good old blog with, but what the heck. In an effort to start a consistent blog to dump my thoughts on life, from kids, to parenting, to art, and anything in-between, perhaps this one will be lost to the annals of time, or buried beneath a heap of other posts if I continue with it! Either way, you have to start somewhere! So why not some insight into this neglected friend of ours that we literally share time with every day! If you’re a parent, this one is for you!
Besides being an artist, I’m a husband (20 years this year to be exact) to possibly the best wife ever and a father of four wonderful (but flawed) children. In an effort to share and cast my pearls of wisdom that I’ve gleaned (going on 15 years of child rearing), I thought I’d share my thoughts on this very neglected amenity (which I refer to as a tool, as well as a teacher and a trainer) that is present in a child’s life every day from the earliest years of their childhood: namely the toilet!
Once they are trained in using this amenity by themselves a wide and new world is open to you in the training and teaching of your child that goes far beyond the four walls of your bathroom. My goal is to open your eyes to the many ways you can view this tool and hopefully in ways you never even imagined! This guy that supports you has much more in store than you thought! Perhaps you’re using one right now as you read this amazing blog post! Its’ highly probable!
Shaping the life of a child is probably one the most challenging, terrifying, and rewarding things you’ll do as a parent. It’s not easy, but to see them succeed and do well in all areas of life, that’s something that’s priceless. So let me share just a few of the ways that this hidden porcelain throne can be used to enlighten your child’s eyes to some of life’s greatest lessons.
Now, when and how you choose to reveal this great wisdom to your child is totally up to you. But I have a feeling you’ll know when!
RESPONSIBILITY
First off, this tool is priceless in teaching responsibility. The R word is something that we big humans take with us literally everywhere we go. We learn that whatever we do has consequences or rewards depending on what it is. If we speed there’s a good chance we’ll get a ticket. If we forget to take the laundry out of the washing machine in a timely manner, we’ll be left smelling those consequences. If we’re good at managing our time and taking care of the those tasks in a timely manner, we’ll have the reward of nice smelling clothes (also another good teacher for older kids!). Children need to learn this lesson early on. Everything they do, has some sort of consequence, for good or ill.
For boys this lesson is much more apparent, unless you teach them to sit every time they have to pee, they will undoubtedly miss the mark and get something somewhere. If and when they do, here comes the lesson: take responsibility for your “miss-take” and clean up after yourself! I know crazy right! Who knew! But really, I’ve had grown men over my house who literally don’t know how to clean up after themself in the bathroom. Which brings us to the next big lesson of this teacher extraordinaire.
CONSIDERATION FOR OTHERS
When you live in a house occupied by someone other than just yourself, you have to learn that not only what you do affects you, but others also. There will be others who follow behind you. Will your child take into account they aren’t the only ones living in the house? Will they leave their mess for someone else to clean up? This is a big one and it goes hand in hand with taking responsibility. Teach your child (when they are old enough, and you’re not worried about them breaking a dish in the sink) to clean up their plate after they are done eating. Don’t let them just leave and go play. Someone has to clean up their mess. Make sure they are cognizant of that. When they are done playing with toys, don’t always clean up after them (that one will haunt you, it’s a hard habit to break) make sure you tell them to clean up. Again, when they are at an age that they can. But I remember when our kids where 2-3 we’d sing a clean-up song with them and they would join in. We would first model it to them, and then allow them to join in. The song was more of a reminder and a whistle while you work song that they quickly joined in with.
Let me pause here and just say that making the mundane fun, is a huge help in teaching things to your kids! Who wants to clean up, really? But let’s sing a song and all do it together—much more enticing. They will actually enjoy it, and though they might not feel like it, just start to sing, “Clean-up, Clean-up, Everybody clean-up,” and watch their little diaper kick into gear! It’s great.
Consideration for others goes a long way, as does taking responsibility. So this will require some action on your part. You’ll have to be aware if they are actually cleaning up after themselves. Again, this one is more for the boys, but when you live in a house with girls (their mom and sisters) teach them it’s considerate to leave the seat down for your mom or sisters. They sit! We boys don’t have to, but… “How would you feel if someone peed on the seat and then you sat in it!? Eeeewwww!” Teach them to pick up the seat, and then put it down when they are done. Fathers need to teach their boys the lost art of manners and being considerate to females. We don’t see that too often anymore unfortunately. Everyone is in a hurry. Teach your boys to open up doors for ladies, and hold it open. My older son actually started to open all the doors in the van when we got to where we were going. He’d open the door for his mom in the passenger seat, and he’d actually run all the way around and try to get to my door before I opened it. I can’t tell you the feeling you get as a parent in seeing that consideration for others. He’s going to be 15 in April, and I pray that that continues. Again, I’ll be the first one to tell you our kids are flawed, and are little sinners, but when you see those areas of growth in your child it’s incredible to watch. To see them get it, and to become respectful and responsible little adults— it’s all worth it.
HUMILITY
Last but not least, what the often used but highly overlooked (he’s short, what can you say) trainer and tool can teach, is humility. This humble teacher gets all our crap, we piss all over it (sorry, but it’s true), and we even hurl and empty our guts into this thing, but through it all, it’s always there, over and over again on a daily basis, accepting, and quiet. Man I could make a sermon about who that reminds me of— but I won’t. But when dealing with the filth of life, sometimes you need to get your hands dirty. To understand and humble yourself in the face of filth that you made, and have to clean it up, that’s a powerful teacher. We all do it, and we should all partake in cleaning it up. Have your kids clean the toilet. Have them see and come to grips with the nasty and filthy. They’ll learn life isn’t all comfort and joy. One, they’ll be thankful they don’t have to do it all the time as everyone take turns in the house, but two, they’ll maybe understand that the thing will be less messy if it’s cleaned quicker and everyone doesn’t just let the junk pile up and pile up. Who wants to mess with that. It’s like taking out the trash. That’s something everyone in a house can contribute with, or just the boys, but again, everyone is contributing to the mess of a trash can, everyone can contribute in cleaning it up and taking it out. It’s a humbling experience to have to lower yourself to the level of the toilet and clean that thing. It’s uncomfortable, but let’s be honest, life is uncomfortable at times, it’s hard, but you get through it. Life requires hard work but we get through it.
What a teacher this guy is! What did I tell you?! It’s always there, but we can very easily neglect this great teacher, trainer, and tool. A tool to help you engage your children in the things of life and help shape them into productive, responsible, humble and considerate human beings. One day when they go outside the four walls of your house and you have to hear the reports of how they handle themselves out there, without you, you’ll either be super proud or you’ll be really embarrassed, probably a little bit of both. It’s a given. The day is coming. But you’ll be super thankful that you didn’t neglect to teach them a few lessons from our faithful porcelain friend: the toilet.
(Hat tip to whoever invented the guy… I wonder if he had all these things in mind when he crafted that porcelain masterpiece.)